Brenè Brown is a qualitative researcher who has translated her work into “storytelling”. She speaks to her audience in a language that is understood by all of us. She has an amazing sense of humor with a topic that could clearly be difficult for some.
The essence of what she talks about is the importance of connection in our lives yet many of us have a fear of disconnection which prevents us from having truly genuine connection. Disconnection is the result of shame – a universal emotion – which often emerges when we tell ourselves that we are not “good enough”. Those negative tapes that we often learn from a very young age. Being vulnerable is the key to being able to be in connection with another and for some this is excruciating.
She talks about the importance of courage, compassion and connection which allows us to be imperfect, kind to ourselves first and authentic. We need to be able to take risks and “invest in a relationship that may or may not work”. To really believe that we are worthy we need to have a “strong sense of love and belonging”. As a researcher she talks about the need for control and predictability but that the way to live is to be vulnerable.
Brenè talks about her own fears about therapy. She just wanted strategies. She wanted to believe that there was no family or childhood stuff that impacted her ability to be vulnerable. She talks about how she “won her life back” through therapy. She describes vulnerability as the “birthplace of joy, creativity, love and belonging” but we so often choose to numb everything including joy and happiness.
Therapy is about connection and the process involves being vulnerable – at your own pace. Most people just want to feel joy in their lives and not struggle so much. As Brenè Brown says it “we need to be kinder and gentler to those around us and ourselves”.
If you feel stuck in patterns that no longer work for you, want to find more joy in your life and do a bit of risk taking to make things happen in your life call (403) 249-9337 or email Carol Fredrek at cfredrek@healingmatters.ca or Jack Dobbs at jdobbs@healingmatters.ca and visit our website at healingmatters.ca to schedule a FREE 30 minute phone consultation